My body is working... I think

So I'm pretty sure I O'd a few days ago. I've been thinking about it a lot lately and if this isn't my month... I'm done "trying". I'm not giving up in any way, shape or form. But for once I feel like I need to take a break from it all and focus on other things in my life. I want to be happy and I want to have a happy life again outside of the craziness of TTCAL. So what does this mean exactly? Well I will still be posting on JM (I love my family there), I also applied to be a co-host for the board. I love knowing I can help people through the horrible time that I went through myself. I'm *hiding* my OPK's & HPT's after this month. So what will be, will be. But at this point... I'm over it.

The wicked witch....

I really do wish a house would fall on her :( Oh well such is life onto another cycle. Maybe she is being so horrible because she is going to stay away for the next 9 months?!? If only it were that simple. I am *trying* to stay positive because honestly HOPE is all I have left. Without it I do not know where I would be. I keep pushing forward because I know in my heart that I'm meant to have a baby on earth with me.

5dpo and....

Having symptoms?? Lol. I woke up this morning with very weird pulling sensations in my lower abdomen. I've been working out at the gym so I thought nothing of it. They I crawled in the shower and TMI alert just the water hitting my breasts hurt so badly I could have bawled my eyes out. I hate going through this month after month. It's hard to keep positive after all I've been through. But I'm pushing forward. I think if this month is a bust then I might take next cycle off and just focus more on the gym and getting into better shape.

A little about my journey thus far

DH and I got married in August 2008 and started trying right away. We found out we were expecting in October and December 15, 2008 we lost our baby boy. Continued trying and had another loss May 2009. Had 2 chemicals after that. Found out I had PCOS & Endo and had a Laproscopy/HSG/and endo removal July 2, 2010. Lost my twins 9-7-10. And another loss at 10-2-10. We are currently trying with Soy/Extra Folic Acid/Progesterone after O/And Metformin for PCOS.So as you can see our journey has already had many ups and down and we have only been married 2 1/2 years. We pulled through everything and are pushing forward and praying for our rainbow baby..